“Parenting is hard. It is one of the most difficult jobs one will ever have, but it is also rewarding. It can be tough to know what will work for children and how to help them succeed in school, but there are a few common mistakes that parents make that discourage children attitude and performance.”
There are many different ways to be a parent. it is tough to find a common thread. Many parents will take a parenting style and try to apply it to their children, but these children often respond differently depending on their age, personality, and other factors. This can result in some harsh consequences for the child. It can also result in the child not wanting to be around that parent, which is one of the worst things any parent wants. One of the biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to parenting their children happens to be seven common mistakes these parents make, and these mistakes are discouraging children attitudes and performance. Here are seven common parenting mistakes.
They are overly focusing on academics instead of character building and life skills.
The National Association of School Psychologists did a study, found that 75% of students who failed a grade or dropped out said it was due to a lack of motivation. Parents need to teach children character and life skills so they can be successful in life.”
Parents always want to help their children out by trying to give them an advantage in life. Many parents will push their children to succeed academically, but this is not always the best way to do it. Many children pushed into academia do not receive a firm enough grasp on life skills to succeed in life. It is much more important to focus on building up their character and making sure they have the knowledge and ability to learn things without you, so when it comes time for them to excel at whatever they want, they can do so with ease and success.
They are enforcing too many rules.
Most parents want to raise respectful and obedient children, so they set several rules that their children must follow. While having some rules is important to instil discipline and teach the child right from wrong, enforcing too many rules can limit creativity, individual freedoms, confuse the child, and discourage them.
Expecting perfection or over-helping
When parents expect their children to be perfect or over-help them, they discourage their self-esteem. This is because some parents feel as though they need to do everything for their kids, instead of teaching them how to do things on their own. Children need some guidance and support; however, too much can often discourage them.
Always using physical punishment.
Unfortunately, many parents believe that the only way to make a child behave is through corporal punishment. This can be harmful and often leads to discouragement in children as well as developing other psychological issues such as aggression, anxiety, or depression. Parents should think of more positive ways of encouraging their kids’ behaviour.
Not following through on consequences.
Parenting mistakes do not end there. Another parenting mistake that parents make is not following through on the consequences of their children’s actions. When a parent fails to give a child what they deserve as punishment, this often results in the child repeatedly misbehaving without any punishment. This can be harmful to teenagers because they may think that there are no consequences for their actions and may lead to higher crime rates.
Not giving a child enough attention or making them feel ignored.
Some parents are too busy to give their children the time and attention that they deserve. While some parents work long hours, there are many other ways to spend quality time with their children, such as going on family outings, taking walks in the park, cooking together, and reading a book.
Focusing on the bad things rather than good ones.
Another parenting mistake that is all too common and one of the most discouraging things a parent can do to their children is focusing on the negative rather than the positive. Some parents pay attention when their child misbehaves but ignore it when they make good decisions; when these children grow up, they continue this pattern of behaviour and may even become more extreme in their decisions.
Being too critical or too easy on a child
As mentioned earlier, some parents make the mistake of being too critical towards their children. Children need to be encouraged to improve themselves through positive reinforcement, so it is important for parents not to always focus on the negative. Parents should try not to be too easy on their children because this will give them a sense of entitlement, and they will not want to work for anything.
Overreacting to a child’s behaviour
Sometimes, parents can overreact to their children’s behaviour. This can discourage their self-esteem and create anxiety in the child, who will think they are always making wrong choices. Parents should try to remain calm when discussing their child’s mistakes rather than getting angry or overly emotional; this encourages them and helps them learn from their mistakes.
Not allowing the child to make any mistakes
Parents need to let their children make some mistakes, but only if they are not harmful. Too many parents are afraid that their kids will get hurt or make a mistake, so they do everything for them, resulting in these kids not learning how to do things on their own.
They are not listening and understanding a child’s point of view and emotions.
Parents tend to make this mistake because they try to teach children how to think and feel instead of just accepting them as who they are. This can result in children becoming stressed, anxious, or depressed. Parents should try to listen to their children and understand where they are coming from instead of dismissing everything they do or say.
Failing to encourage and motivate children
As parents, it is our job to help keep our kids motivated and give them the support they need. If fail to do this, then we are doing a disservice to our children. The older our kids get, the harder it is to motivate them and encourage them to do things, but we can never stop trying. By encouraging our children and keeping them motivated, they will have a greater chance of succeeding in life.
Not giving tough love when it is needed.
The final parenting mistake that parents make is not giving their children tough love when it is needed. Parents should communicate and be open with their kids about what they expect from them and be willing to give consequences if the child fails to meet those expectations. This will establish order and discipline in the home, which can help a child succeed in the long run.
These are the seven parenting mistakes parents make that can damage their children’s attitude and performance. We all want what is best for our kids, but to do so, we must avoid making these common mistakes, which will only end up hurting them instead of helping them prepare for adulthood.
Tips on how to encourage a child
Here are some tips in which parents can teach their children self-discipline and responsibility while promoting the right attitude in them.
Be a good role model yourself.
Children watch and imitate their parents. If you want them to be responsible and respectful, you need to show these qualities in your actions. The parent must maintain a good attitude, even when there are tough moments with their children. This will encourage children to behave well too.
Giving children age-appropriate tasks
Parents must not overburden their children by expecting them to do too tricky chores for them. For instance, 3-year olds should not be expected to make their beds. However, you can expect them to put away simple things like puzzles or toys. As they get older, these tasks will get increasingly difficult, but your children will slowly develop the skills to handle this responsibility.
When giving consequences for bad behaviour, parents must be consistent in what they do and how they treat their children. This means that parents should not limit punishment when the kids misbehave one day but are too lenient the next day. These children will not know what to expect, which will only result in them misbehaving more often.
Encouraging your children
Parents must encourage their children and let them know how proud they are of them for following through on tasks or achieving their goals. This will help children have the proper attitude when dealing with challenging situations and take pride in their actions.
Following through on consequences
Parents should try to implement consequences for negative behaviour promptly, especially if it has happened just once or twice. However, punishments must be fair and appropriate to the offence. Parents should not use threats or promises in order to get their children to behave. This will only result in the parents becoming frustrated and giving up when their children do not listen, which means that consequences for bad behaviour will no longer be enforced, resulting in a lack of discipline.
Encouraging your child’s independence
As your children get older, you should encourage them to do more things, such as making their meals or doing their homework without your supervision. This teaches children to be independent and reduces the amount of work that parents have to do around the house.
Having a healthy balance between strict discipline and times when you can laugh and have fun with your children is essential to help foster a positive attitude. Parents must not constantly yell and punish their children, as this will only make them feel miserable and want to rebel further.
When teaching our children, we need to keep in mind that it should be done gradually and patiently, considering their age and maturity level. It is essential that parents first set a good example themselves, then give children age-appropriate tasks, be consistent in parenting style, follow through on consequences for bad behaviour, encourage appropriate attitudes towards difficult situations by praising them when they are doing well or finishing goals, encourage independence as kids get older, and have some fun too. If done correctly, this will help children develop a positive attitude which can be an essential factor in becoming successful later on in life.
KC Raj is a career counsellor and recruiter with many years of experience. Interested in topics like human development, education, immigration, inequality, and many other international issues. https://www.linkedin.com/in/kc-raj-kcr
KC Raj is a socialist in thinking and believes in the “One Nation, One World” theory.