Stress of confinement: the problem and the cures

Being confined is one of the most stressful conditions. It is like being in jail, quite often without doing anything bad. During the COVID-19 crisis, most of us experienced some sort of confinement anxiety. Some of us feel confined now.  There are things we can do to make things better. For this article I read posts here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

The psychological symptoms of confinement

Psychological response to confinement can include (I quoute):

  • Post-traumatic stress symptoms
  • Depression, insomnia, anxiety
  • Confusion
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Frustration
  • Boredom

Maybe all of these things to some degree and mood swings. These responses are normal.

Some people feel none of those. Recently I saw a video of a religious woman which struck me as very abnormal. She said and I quote: “God, I love you so much! You finally stopped that rat race as I prayed and sent everyone to his family. This is so good!”. Occasionally people who find the silver lining are more annoying than the people who acknowledge a problem.

And nevertheless, I am looking for a leverage

Now you may dislike what I have to say and may want to argue with me, but it makes sense to look for an opportunity in every crisis. Being thankful for a crisis might be sickening, but trying to reframe the situation might be a good strategy.  This does not feel right, does not appear to be right, yet it is practically useful. What are the common opportunities for a crisis involving confinement?

  • A chance to benefit from the change. I am not talking about profiteers and speculators who earn money from the suffering of others. Quite the opposite, if we invest in speedy recovery and growth that will follow we win twice. We make the world a better place and we earn from the improvement.
  • Feel true empathy. In times of crisis, our ability to feel empathy and compassion increases. This is scientifically proven. Embrace the caregivers who are tired, support the elderly adult who feel lonely, feel for those whose mobility is limited.
  • Express gratitude. Confinement is usually time-limited. We can be grateful for the freedom we had before, and we will be grateful once the whole confinement process is over.
  • Work on your resilience. Easier said than done, yet possible. Clearly, psychological pressure has its adverse effects. By practicing visualization, mindfulness, and grounding we can reduce some of the stress. If we learn, we will come out of the ordeal stronger.
  • Use time wisely. Do the things that introverts love. Read books, build projects, communicate with others online, analyze yourself…

Staying open and looking for an opportunity in every crisis is good for personal growth.

Everything fluctuates

Some people choose to be confined. Certain religious personalities choose to withdraw into monasteries or willingly limit other freedoms. Compare this to vipassana where people choose not to talk. They laugh and they cry, they may hug or distance themselves. It is a hard experience, yet many people deeply feel for it.

During different stages of confinement, we may experience very strong emotions of all kinds. We may dislike ourselves in states of anger, depression, and frustration. Thankfully, these states usually pass. If we are lucky we accept ourselves with all the limitations and understand that no matter how bad things are right now they will be OK soon.

According to a myth King Solomon had a ring with engraving: “This too will pass”. Every time he felt bad, he looked at the ring and felt encouraged. When he felt good he looked at the ring and felt grateful.

Deal with immediate symptoms

To be able to see the big picture we need to deal with immediate symptoms (I quote):

  • Sadness, confusion, irritability, anger, uneasiness, and suicidal thoughts
  • Reduced concentration, efficiency, and productivity
  • Social withdrawal and isolation
  • Interpersonal problems (e.g., lies, defensiveness, communication concerns)
  • Tension (e.g., headaches, jaw clenching, teeth grinding)
  • Body pain (e.g., headaches, muscle spasms)
  • Reduced energy (e.g., tiredness, weakness, fatigue)
  • Sleeping problems (e.g., insomnia, nightmares)

It is normal to feel bad. We can try to deal with these symptoms using visualization, healthy lifestyle, pills or a combination of methods. I might address some of those in separate articles.My emphasis here is on the feeling of control. If we use methods that work, we stay in control of the situation and our stress levels go down. If we choose the confinement as our consicous choice and take responsibility for it, we also feel in control.

Do not freak out

If you freak out you may do things you will regret. This is also normal. We are more aggressive in confinement and can snap without a reason, saying things we should not say or worse. How many of you broke dishes when stressed?

While it is normal to freak out, it is better to vent out before the situation gets dire. I think writing and art, in general, is a good way to ventilate the negative emotions. Certain breathing techniques may also work.

It is OK to act assertively. If a family member puts TV on full volume while you are asleep you can point to the action, how this action made you feel and which cures will fix the situation. Assertive behavior might not work in some cases. Maybe try to negotiate or convince via storytelling. Investigate the issue via questioning. This may also fail, and the people you communicate with might snap, but that would be a rare response. At least it decreases the chances of not-so-nice confrontation.

Focus on other things

The initial recommendation is to acknowledge the feelings and the symptoms and find ways to cope with them. The opposite approach might also work. Leverage what makes you different.

People with OCD or ADHD may have issues with controlling the focus. If you have none of those, simply try to focus on other things. My wife is very successful in this way. When stressed she creates new projects and fully emerges in them. (Disclaimer: I have a “sticky mind” and fail in this.)

Accept your condition

For me, radical acceptance is the last line of defence. We have evolved to adapt to all sorts of adverse scenarios. After a while, confinement might become the new normal situation. Personally I prefer more proactive approaches, yet if all else fails, radical acceptance will do the trick. Acknowledge your confinement as a part of the human condition.

Go primitive. Reduce the noise of the news. Do not try to use the money to fight the situation. And if you feel irrational, at least do not spread panic. Focus on the basics: food, shelter, hygiene.

Our ancestors were often trapped for days waiting for a disaster to disappear (storm, predator, war). Cities withstood sieges for years. We have the tools in our gene pool to survive any confinement, and we will be OK either way.

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